If you love me keep my commandments

Yesterday I was driving the boys to the church for a practice of the primary program that was the next day. I have been feeling so weary of raising these high energy boys on my own, this morning was no different. About half way to the church building  Peyton said Mom I love you. This is not unusual he tells me multiple times a day but because I was feeling so frustrated I did respond as quickly, although my response would have been and always be I love you too, instead a phrase ran through my mind really quickly. " If you love me, keep my commandments." for me it ment  " Boys if you love me please just be obedient and stop throwing fits.  There is no way for me to adequately express this moment I had but it was as if the Lord was speaking right to my spirit and flipping the coin in a way teaching me that his love is always there whether I deserve it or not he loves me, I am his child you can't take that love away not even frustration with your children diminishes this love but If  I LOVE HIM I will willing keep his commandments. Just as my love never changes for my kids It would make me so happy and I would feel the love behind the word if they would be obedient. The Lord loves us all so much but he knows of our love for him when we keep his commandments.

Mom you are my best beautiful friend

Because Peyton is so energetic and some times a little more aggressive then Tate is his sweet side can be over looked but tonight like many other nights he has melted my heart and I so badly never want to forget how sweet this little boy is. After I read scriptures I was saying good night and walking out of the room when Peyton said mom I want to give you a hug. I knelt down at his bed and he wrapped me up in his arms and said mom you are my best beautiful friend! I hugged him tight and told him I loved him so much. My ear was very close to his mouth while we were hugging and his little voice said quietly "your my mom." "I want to keep you." I whispered back yes I'm your mom, I will always be your mom.  I am always trying my best to stay patient with my boys because they both have so much energy and minds of there owns but I forget so often that I am learning as I go as a parent and that they are being so so patient with me as their mother. I am so thankful for them, and so thankful  my Father in Heaven trusted me with both these boys.

Wheeler Farm- Pumpkin days/ Why did Mulan Lie?

 Yesterday I took the boys to wheeler farm, Tate was off for UEA. We got to take a wagon ride, go through the hay maze and pick a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. We did the wagon ride first and then walked around for a little while before we did the haze maze. Peyton wanted to see the horses, every time we see a horse he tells me that he wants one some day.

 Tate loved the hay maze! He ran ahead of me and Peyton yelling mom come look at this!He had such a blast. Peyton got lost once and when Tate found him his eyes were all red and he had tears running down his cheeks, He said Mom I was looking for you.

 The Pumpkins were not the best looking but the boys had fun looking at all the fun Halloween decorations. Peyton found the perfect little pumpkin and carried it all the way to the car huffing and puffing. One thing I have missed living in Florida is the changing of the leaves on the trees. The colors are so beautiful. I definitely am having a hard time adjusting to the cold, especially in the morning when I take Tate to school but I love the colors when the change of season comes. We had such a good time, the sun was shinning so it made for a warm day unless you were standing in the shade. I had the best time watching them have so much fun and the looks on their faces with the different spider and witches decorations. This will always be a very fun memory for me.

Right now both the boys are sorta obsessed with the movie Mulan. On our way home from wheeler farm Tate said to me Mom Lying is bad! Not so much like he was asking but more like he was telling me or even confirming it. So I said you are so right it is not good at all, we should never lie. His next question... So why did Mulan lie then? For like one second I didn't even no what to say, Tate is so inquisitive and deep thinking so I wanted to make sure I answered correctly but also  knew that he was maybe to young to understand that on rare occasion lying for the greater good is some times okay and the traditions of other cultures and that kind of thing. So I said well her dad was really sick, and then Tate added that the dads leg was hurt really bad but fearing that I was still condoning lying I said you know Tate, Mulan should have told her dad  that she was going to go fight in his place. Tate said well I still don't think her dad would have let her go? I think we came to the conclusion that she did it because she loved her dad but that we should not lie. I hope that I  always have an answer for his always thinking mind. I am learning though that reading my scriptures and staying close to the spirit is so important in raising these children I need my Father in Heavens help so much!

School pictures

 It is so fun and so crazy to be the mom of a kindergartener! Its also fun that Lifetouch ( the picture company my dad has worked for my whole life) took these pictures so we got free pictures,the famous school pictures we will be getting every year for the next 11 years or so. Peyton is not in school yet but we went early,before school started and they took Peyton's picture because he is a sibling of Tate. Love these little boys!

Conference weekend/ Brenton's Wedding

                   Conference Weekend-   I loved loved conference! So many amazing talks. I loved the talk given by Elder Holland, Pres Eyring, Pres Uchtdorf. Lots of others that really touched me but for some reason these ones really stuck out to me. I will never forget Uchtdorf's quote " Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith!" Hollands talks always affect me so much, I really want to read and read this talk! I felt so blessed to be able to watch it in my parents comfortable home all bundled up taking notes as fast as I could. I think next year I will work harder at things that will keep my boys interested in conference, I want them to know how wonderful and Important it is to watch or listen to conference.

 We Relaxed during the 2 hour break and after a delicious dinner we played monopoly deal. Brenton's last weekend in the home.

Brenton's wedding:

 The wedding dinner was at a place called Cantina's, it was Mexican food and it was really yummy. Me, sisters, Blake& Faye-dawn were all at the same table and we had a blast sitting together. For some reason we got to talking about people with Googly eyes and we could not stop laughing. It was such a fun time and I love spending time with my family/ siblings but It was sad for me for some reason. Maybe just cause I live at home right now but knowing Brenton is not going to be down stairs any more has been really hard for me to work through. Its so crazy how time really just keeps ticking on. Sisters are at school, both brothers are married and out of the house now and and in January our family will be gone too. Its the way God intended it and its so good for Brenton to be married, he has waited for so long to find some one and I really am so happy for him but I miss him!

 I'm so glad that we all went out for Ice cream after the wedding dinner. It is probably the last time that were going to be all together. Leatherbys has always been a family favorite so we went and got ice cream and french fries and had a really good time.

 I'm bummed I didn't get better pics of the day but it was beautiful! Being in the ceiling room was such a privileged!! The sun was shining so bright in fact the sealer joked that they had special ordered the sun shine. His words really were inspired and it made me want to not only attend the temple so much more often but also to work so hard on my marriage. I want our marriage and family to be a happy and Eternal.

  Brenton was so nervous about the dance but he did great and they both looked so wonderful.  The day was crazy and jam packed but so fun and memorable. Side note- I can't believe how big I am getting. This pictures made me so excited for the baby to come.  Being pregnant is hard but I feel so blessed to carry a child. I have heard three is a hard adjustment so I really hope I can do it but It really does not change the fact that I am so excited!

Safe in Peyton's arms's

The last few days have been very trying! It seems like all week I have been able to handle most of the fits/ whining  with more patience then I normally possess but yesterday and today have been especially hard.  My sweet Peyton has a mind all his own and all though I believe this can be a very good thing it also poses problems. I feel like nothing I say or do really gets through to him. He always tells me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me, in fact he says it at least 10 times a day if not more, but when it comes down to " Peyton please get into bed?" or  " No we are not changing you clothes it is freezing out side and you have been in these clothes all day, so lets just put a jacket on?" or his high pitched scream that could deafen the deaf, I feel like I have tried every form of discipline and nothing works! He always has an answer for everything, he talks over me, thinks he knows more then I do... My patience runs so thin and then I loose it, I hate my self for it, I want so much to have more of it (patience). Tonight after having a small break from my sweet kiddos because my awesome brother Blake and his wife Faye-Dawn took them with them to Cabellas, I felt so ready to see them excited even. They came home and I got them some dinner and then we started the bed time routine. We put pajamas on read  books that they have to ask a ton of questions through, said prayers, and then like every night some kind of  bomb shell always hits and it takes an extra 20 min to stop some fit from one or both of them because they both wanted to pray or Peyton can't find his super hero squad Iron man or Tate was talking first and Peyton interrupted. Tonight's fun was that after they were both in bed and Tate forgot that Grandma said "come say good night to me before you go to bed. So they wanted to go say good night, because it was late and we had read an extra book I said they could see her in the morning and this was not okay with Peyton, after a long fight to get him back in bed and feeling again so frustrated that  I wanted to hand in my two weeks notice, I told them I had to take some dirty clothes up stairs and would be right back. Only about 5 min had gone by and Peyton walks up stairs telling me I am taking too long! I mustard some patience and took him down stairs and got into bed with him. I tickled his back and played with is hair hoping soon he would fall asleep so I could go get ready for bed,  then the best thing happened he put his arm underneath my neck so that my head was resting on his shoulder and kissed me very gently on the forehead and said Mom,your my mom. I laid in my three year old's arms and listened to his breathing become steady and he drifted in to a deep sleep! I felt so safe laying beside this little man, like if something bad were to happen my little Peyton could save the day. I realized in that moment again how special my calling is as a Mother and want nothing more then to be the best mom I can be to both my boys and my this sweet little girl that is coming. My prayer like always is that the Lord will make up the difference for me with all my weakness as a mother?

Tate the little photographer

 Tate took these pictures with my phone and thought they were some serious art! I had to post them cause he was so proud of them. I look like I haven't slept for a few weeks. I wish there was more to write about but the last few days have been kind of mundane and we have been missing Tex a lot. My Mom has been working at the office the last month and a half so it can get kinda lonely, I should be use to it because in Florida Tex was gone all the time. The life of a mother is so rewarding but so hard at the same time. This new season of life I'm in with Tate in school is kinda crazy, getting him up and driving him to school and home work at night, dinner time, bed time, reading the scriptures, brushing teeth, making sure they don't watch to much t.v, stopping the fits.... Some times I wonder how I am doing? But because no one can really give you grade on it you just keep doing the best you can and hope that it is enough, I hope through my weakness my kids will know how much I love them and stay close to the gospel. I love the gospel with all my heart and know that I have so many things to work on but I hope so much like I'm sure most parents that all my children accept the gospel into their hearts and live lives so that they can have true happiness.

Our weekend (September 27-29 2013)

 After we said goodby to Dad on Thursday we went home to chill for a while and I must say that the emptiness the three of us felt was very sad. Peyton fell asleep and me and Tate laid on my bed down stairs to relax for a bit, he played on his tablet and while he was playing from the quite he said Mom are you going to love baby Elsie more than me and Peyton? I was so shocked! No way buddy I could never love her more then you guys I will love you all the exact same! He looked at me and said well she is going to be pretty cute.  Again amazed at what my five year old is always thinking I assured him that my love for him would never change or lessen because of a new baby. O how I love these boys! Friday we went to look for glasses for Tate and we found the ones he loved at Target, they had red flames on them and he has been asking everyday sense, when they are going to call so we can go pick them up.

 Later that night we went to Tate's School for a Carnival and they got there faces painted like Tigers. Tate was so concerned about his face he kept asking me if it still looked good. They had jump houses and slides, games, cookies, pizza, nachos, cotton candy, a photo booth, silent auction, face paintings. Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Blake and Aunt Faye- dawn came to hang out with us in the freezing weather. It was are first taste of fall, I had bitter sweet feelings. I have been so excited to be in Utah for a fall sense living in Florida, I did love feeling the crisp air but I don't think I am super excited for the snow?

 

 

 Tate thought it was so fun to throw a pie in his teachers face. I have to say it was funny to watch him not even try to throw it, he just walked right up to her  and mashed it in her face.

 Saturday Morning we went with Grandma to the Farmers Market. We got lots of yummy fruit and veggies and the sun was shinning so the crisp air was wonderful.

 The whole weekend was so great but I have to say that I really had the best time riding Trax down town with my mom and sitting in the conference center to listen to the General Relief Society Meeting. Watching all the women dressed in Sunday best and you knew that they we were all going to the same place. I am so grateful to be a member of this church. The Meeting was so wonderful I felt the spirit so strong and loved the messages that were shared. The first speaker was General Relief Society President Linda K Burton: She talked about how we are a covenant people and that keeping our covenants is one of the best ways to show our love for Heavenly Father. - Keeping  our covenants is real happiness, - that we can teach our children by example to be covenant people. I loved at the end she asks us to evaluate how much we love our Heavenly Father? Carole M Stephens: Talked about missionary work and helping to bare each others burdens and that we can be an instrument in the lords hands.  Linda S Reeves:  I loved this talk! I want to go back and re read the whole talk  I didn't take very many notes cause I could not keep up with all my thoughts. President Monson: is always a joy to listen to, I lot of what he said was to always pray and that god answers prayers. He shared a wonderful story about a women who was very over whelmed with all she had going on in her life and was not able to eat. She told a friend or sister that the only thing that sounded good to eat was home made bread and miraculously the next day some one that barely new her felt impressed to bake a second loaf of bread and take it to her. I  had chills listening to this story, I want to more ready to be an instrument in the lords hands so I can help him answer the prayers his children. I am very excited to listen to General Conference this weekend. :)

  We still had about half hour before it started when I took this picture. It was a full house. Every seat was filled. It's AMAZING!!!