Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Yesterday I was driving the boys to the church for a practice of the primary program that was the next day. I have been feeling so weary of raising these high energy boys on my own, this morning was no different. About half way to the church building Peyton said Mom I love you. This is not unusual he tells me multiple times a day but because I was feeling so frustrated I did respond as quickly, although my response would have been and always be I love you too, instead a phrase ran through my mind really quickly. " If you love me, keep my commandments." for me it ment " Boys if you love me please just be obedient and stop throwing fits. There is no way for me to adequately express this moment I had but it was as if the Lord was speaking right to my spirit and flipping the coin in a way teaching me that his love is always there whether I deserve it or not he loves me, I am his child you can't take that love away not even frustration with your children diminishes this love but If I LOVE HIM I will willing keep his commandments. Just as my love never changes for my kids It would make me so happy and I would feel the love behind the word if they would be obedient. The Lord loves us all so much but he knows of our love for him when we keep his commandments.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Because Peyton is so energetic and some times a little more aggressive then Tate is his sweet side can be over looked but tonight like many other nights he has melted my heart and I so badly never want to forget how sweet this little boy is. After I read scriptures I was saying good night and walking out of the room when Peyton said mom I want to give you a hug. I knelt down at his bed and he wrapped me up in his arms and said mom you are my best beautiful friend! I hugged him tight and told him I loved him so much. My ear was very close to his mouth while we were hugging and his little voice said quietly "your my mom." "I want to keep you." I whispered back yes I'm your mom, I will always be your mom. I am always trying my best to stay patient with my boys because they both have so much energy and minds of there owns but I forget so often that I am learning as I go as a parent and that they are being so so patient with me as their mother. I am so thankful for them, and so thankful my Father in Heaven trusted me with both these boys.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Conference Weekend- I loved loved conference! So many amazing talks. I loved the talk given by Elder Holland, Pres Eyring, Pres Uchtdorf. Lots of others that really touched me but for some reason these ones really stuck out to me. I will never forget Uchtdorf's quote " Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith!" Hollands talks always affect me so much, I really want to read and read this talk! I felt so blessed to be able to watch it in my parents comfortable home all bundled up taking notes as fast as I could. I think next year I will work harder at things that will keep my boys interested in conference, I want them to know how wonderful and Important it is to watch or listen to conference.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
The last few days have been very trying! It seems like all week I have been able to handle most of the fits/ whining with more patience then I normally possess but yesterday and today have been especially hard. My sweet Peyton has a mind all his own and all though I believe this can be a very good thing it also poses problems. I feel like nothing I say or do really gets through to him. He always tells me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me, in fact he says it at least 10 times a day if not more, but when it comes down to " Peyton please get into bed?" or " No we are not changing you clothes it is freezing out side and you have been in these clothes all day, so lets just put a jacket on?" or his high pitched scream that could deafen the deaf, I feel like I have tried every form of discipline and nothing works! He always has an answer for everything, he talks over me, thinks he knows more then I do... My patience runs so thin and then I loose it, I hate my self for it, I want so much to have more of it (patience). Tonight after having a small break from my sweet kiddos because my awesome brother Blake and his wife Faye-Dawn took them with them to Cabellas, I felt so ready to see them excited even. They came home and I got them some dinner and then we started the bed time routine. We put pajamas on read books that they have to ask a ton of questions through, said prayers, and then like every night some kind of bomb shell always hits and it takes an extra 20 min to stop some fit from one or both of them because they both wanted to pray or Peyton can't find his super hero squad Iron man or Tate was talking first and Peyton interrupted. Tonight's fun was that after they were both in bed and Tate forgot that Grandma said "come say good night to me before you go to bed. So they wanted to go say good night, because it was late and we had read an extra book I said they could see her in the morning and this was not okay with Peyton, after a long fight to get him back in bed and feeling again so frustrated that I wanted to hand in my two weeks notice, I told them I had to take some dirty clothes up stairs and would be right back. Only about 5 min had gone by and Peyton walks up stairs telling me I am taking too long! I mustard some patience and took him down stairs and got into bed with him. I tickled his back and played with is hair hoping soon he would fall asleep so I could go get ready for bed, then the best thing happened he put his arm underneath my neck so that my head was resting on his shoulder and kissed me very gently on the forehead and said Mom,your my mom. I laid in my three year old's arms and listened to his breathing become steady and he drifted in to a deep sleep! I felt so safe laying beside this little man, like if something bad were to happen my little Peyton could save the day. I realized in that moment again how special my calling is as a Mother and want nothing more then to be the best mom I can be to both my boys and my this sweet little girl that is coming. My prayer like always is that the Lord will make up the difference for me with all my weakness as a mother?
Friday, October 4, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Later that night we went to Tate's School for a Carnival and they got there faces painted like Tigers. Tate was so concerned about his face he kept asking me if it still looked good. They had jump houses and slides, games, cookies, pizza, nachos, cotton candy, a photo booth, silent auction, face paintings. Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Blake and Aunt Faye- dawn came to hang out with us in the freezing weather. It was are first taste of fall, I had bitter sweet feelings. I have been so excited to be in Utah for a fall sense living in Florida, I did love feeling the crisp air but I don't think I am super excited for the snow?
General Relief Society Meeting. Watching all the women dressed in Sunday best and you knew that they we were all going to the same place. I am so grateful to be a member of this church. The Meeting was so wonderful I felt the spirit so strong and loved the messages that were shared. The first speaker was General Relief Society President Linda K Burton: She talked about how we are a covenant people and that keeping our covenants is one of the best ways to show our love for Heavenly Father. - Keeping our covenants is real happiness, - that we can teach our children by example to be covenant people. I loved at the end she asks us to evaluate how much we love our Heavenly Father? Carole M Stephens: Talked about missionary work and helping to bare each others burdens and that we can be an instrument in the lords hands. Linda S Reeves: I loved this talk! I want to go back and re read the whole talk I didn't take very many notes cause I could not keep up with all my thoughts. President Monson: is always a joy to listen to, I lot of what he said was to always pray and that god answers prayers. He shared a wonderful story about a women who was very over whelmed with all she had going on in her life and was not able to eat. She told a friend or sister that the only thing that sounded good to eat was home made bread and miraculously the next day some one that barely new her felt impressed to bake a second loaf of bread and take it to her. I had chills listening to this story, I want to more ready to be an instrument in the lords hands so I can help him answer the prayers his children. I am very excited to listen to General Conference this weekend. :)