Sunday, October 6, 2013

Safe in Peyton's arms's

The last few days have been very trying! It seems like all week I have been able to handle most of the fits/ whining  with more patience then I normally possess but yesterday and today have been especially hard.  My sweet Peyton has a mind all his own and all though I believe this can be a very good thing it also poses problems. I feel like nothing I say or do really gets through to him. He always tells me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me, in fact he says it at least 10 times a day if not more, but when it comes down to " Peyton please get into bed?" or  " No we are not changing you clothes it is freezing out side and you have been in these clothes all day, so lets just put a jacket on?" or his high pitched scream that could deafen the deaf, I feel like I have tried every form of discipline and nothing works! He always has an answer for everything, he talks over me, thinks he knows more then I do... My patience runs so thin and then I loose it, I hate my self for it, I want so much to have more of it (patience). Tonight after having a small break from my sweet kiddos because my awesome brother Blake and his wife Faye-Dawn took them with them to Cabellas, I felt so ready to see them excited even. They came home and I got them some dinner and then we started the bed time routine. We put pajamas on read  books that they have to ask a ton of questions through, said prayers, and then like every night some kind of  bomb shell always hits and it takes an extra 20 min to stop some fit from one or both of them because they both wanted to pray or Peyton can't find his super hero squad Iron man or Tate was talking first and Peyton interrupted. Tonight's fun was that after they were both in bed and Tate forgot that Grandma said "come say good night to me before you go to bed. So they wanted to go say good night, because it was late and we had read an extra book I said they could see her in the morning and this was not okay with Peyton, after a long fight to get him back in bed and feeling again so frustrated that  I wanted to hand in my two weeks notice, I told them I had to take some dirty clothes up stairs and would be right back. Only about 5 min had gone by and Peyton walks up stairs telling me I am taking too long! I mustard some patience and took him down stairs and got into bed with him. I tickled his back and played with is hair hoping soon he would fall asleep so I could go get ready for bed,  then the best thing happened he put his arm underneath my neck so that my head was resting on his shoulder and kissed me very gently on the forehead and said Mom,your my mom. I laid in my three year old's arms and listened to his breathing become steady and he drifted in to a deep sleep! I felt so safe laying beside this little man, like if something bad were to happen my little Peyton could save the day. I realized in that moment again how special my calling is as a Mother and want nothing more then to be the best mom I can be to both my boys and my this sweet little girl that is coming. My prayer like always is that the Lord will make up the difference for me with all my weakness as a mother?

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